Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Two Cents Is Too Much: AVP-R

The easiest way to get back into blogging is to convince yourself you've started anew, either with new content or a new feature... or both! Introducing Two Cents Is Too Much, a collection of my reviews of various things that are probably not worth anything (ask my about reviews some day).

In today's episode, I'm talking about Alien Vs. Predator - Requiem, or AVP-R. At first I thought the "R" stood for "Rated R", since the first AVP was rated PG-13. In the end, the R rating was the only thing good about the movie; hearing curses every other word was great. Otherwise, this movie sucked. 

AVP-R reeked of other terrible SciFi sequels, like Starship Troopers 2. Its like the producers forgot to hire writers (maybe this was written during the writers strike). There was no plot to speak of. Instead the movie focuses on a series of fight scenes with bad lighting among various alien species and humans. I left 30 minutes in to grab popcorn and I didn't miss a thing. The best part of the movie was when one of the main characters yelled "Get to the chopper!" sans Austrian accent. Ahh, memories.

So don't go see it in the theater. Don't buy it on DVD. Wait until it's on TV, then check to see if anything else is on... I'd rather watch Chuck Norris sell the Total Gym ("Two months? Wow!") for 100 minutes than watch AVP-R again. I even had to watch the first AVP when I got home just to get the taste out of my mouth. 

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